Today is Easter, the only holiday about zombies. This is the day that Jesus came back from the dead as a zombie. He said to his apostles:
"Hey it's me Jesus"
and Thomas was like
"No way dude"
and Jesus said
"Remember just before I got nailed by the Romans I invited you all over for dinner and then I told you to eat of my blood and my flesh"
and Paul said
"dude that was just bread and wine, I thought you were doing some sort of metaphorical thingy"
and Jesus said
"Nope, it transmuted into bits of me inside your stomach. Anyway, now it's my turn. I am going to eat you "
so all the apostles died eggs pink and drew squiggly lines on them so they'd look like brains and they told zombie Jesus that they would hide them and he would have to look for them. Then zombie Jesus got tired of looking so he ate some bunnies and chicks. And that is the origin of Easter
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